Movie watching over the holidays is usually a mixed bag. You go to the theater a few times, you watch a few old favorites on streaming, you catch up on movies you meant to see on the big screen but didn’t, and maybe, if you’re like me, you even break down and go to the video store because you’re tired of endlessly clicking around on Netflix. This holiday break, I watched ten movies from start to finish and today I would like to set a Moviehouse record and review all ten of them in the next three and half minutes. Beware there are some spoilers ahead.
Rouge One: A Star Wars
Story – This put the war in Star Wars and is basically a combat heist film.
It’s an Easter egg strewn wonderland for nerds who know who Gold Leader and
Grand Moff Tarkin are. Director Gareth Edwards is great with images and
produces some really striking grand scale pictures, but he’s terrible with
character and most of those featured in the movie woefully underdeveloped.
There’s no chance of them ever being developed any further because everyone
dies.
Fantastic Beasts and
Where to Find Them – This is a different kind of prequel, one where there
were almost no expectations. Unlike Rogue One, it’s not sandwiched between two trilogies
and therefore has more freedom to be its own thing. Edie Redmayne’s performance
is generally ticky and off-putting, but Katherine Waterston and Alison Sudol
are so charming as the Goldstein sisters, I would watch them read from a Muggle
phone book.
Spectre – I find
it interesting that director Sam Mendes shoots what is essentially a popcorn
action flick like it’s the most serious of art house films. The movie looks
great, and the combination of the serious and the silly has always worked well
for the franchise. Making Bond supervillain Blofeld 007’s jealous adoptive
brother seemed like too much of a stretch. I appreciate Mendes trying to give
the spy franchise some heft, but c’mon.
Chinatown – directed
by Roman Polanski and released in 1974, this remains one of the greatest
neo-noirs ever made. Jack Nicholson’s slightly reptilian performance as private
investigator Jake Gittes is vital and feels as contemporary as the day it was
made. Even though the film takes place in glossy, gorgeous pre-war Los Angeles,
it never feels like a period picture.
What About Bob?
There are only two kinds of people in this world: those who like this
excruciating black comedy about a patient hounding his psychiatrist on vacation
and those who do not. My wife loves it.
The Angry Birds Movie
– This one is a bit of a stretch. I watched it from the kitchen while I was
baking Christmas cookies. My 7 year old picked it. Despite these limitations, I
feel I can safely say it’s garbage and no one ever needs to watch it.
Hercules –
Directed by professional frat boy Bret Ratner and starring Dwayne the Rock
Johnson, this 2014 release honestly wasn’t as bad as I thought it would be.
Johnson proves once again he has leading man charisma. Ratner managed not to
ruin everything.
Sing – You
wouldn’t think Matthew Mcaunghey would be perfect as a koala bear, but he kind
of is. This movie, similar to but not as good as Zootopia, still makes the most
of its jukebox musical structure and is the best thing Illumination studios has
done yet. The carwash sequence made me giggle for ten minutes.
Sully – This
managed to produce a lot of drama out of a real-life event that ended really
happily. Clint Eastwood’s direction is lean and economical as usual. It’s good
but it’s also 96 minutes of Tom Hanks being really grim.
In the Heart of the
Sea – The last film I saw was Ron Howard’s sea epic about the story that
inspired Moby Dick. It’s got a nice cast and a big budget and was utterly
pedestrian and boring. Avoid it like everyone else did.
Whew.
No comments:
Post a Comment